#bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently: Day 7 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism...

#bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently: Day 7 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism...: Day 7 of #bath My boys ... just thinking Autism differently my final blog in the run up to world Autism Day ... I have tried to write a...

Day 7 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently

Day 7 of #bath My boys ... just thinking Autism differently my final blog in the run up to world Autism Day ...

I have tried to write a blog this evening but I am so exhausted by all of today’s antic's…and I have read so many wonderful statements and comments over the course of today the awareness has been so awesome that I really cannot think of anything to say without using someone else's words.

My boys and myself have achieved so much faced with our daily challenges, so I will leave you for now with this …. they say a picture can paint a thousand words, so here you go, my boys most definitely do think differently about their autism !

                         

My final #bath picture My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently

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#bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently: Day 5 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism...

#bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently: Day 5 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism...: After tomorrow evening I will be taking a wee break from blogging, I know I will be sharing away again soon, there is parts of my life that...

Day 6 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently

After tomorrow evening I will be taking a wee break from blogging, I know I will be sharing away again soon, there is parts of my life that are yet still too raw to share.

I will let you into a little secret, last night was really my final choice #bath picture … but as many of you lovely lot know I always have something up my sleeve, even my poor mother has not got a clue, god love her … she tried her best this morning to get it out of me.

I appreciate all your messages of support they have come from near and far, I know a few of you have said that can hear my voice when reading this late at night, “I'm hoping the sound of my voice does not result in you all having nightmares”

I want to especially thank my long suffering dad for putting up with me and taking the time to read my blog, I know the word “BloggING” was some what confusing for him ! I feel a clip around the ear coming for that one …. no seriously, my mum and dad have gone out of their way to support me with the way I wanted to bring up the boys … when I went home to tell them that I had been told “Liam would not achieve much” their answer was, “really” !!!

I taught the boys to use sign language, my parents learnt it and still use it today … my dad even misuses the naught sign a bit to much. He even came up with the “don't touch me game” which every now and then he still plays with Liam … it helps Liam to over come being touched.

I most definitely can say I get my determination from them ... they took our kind of bullying approach to autism and embraced it.

Bullying Autism … We use this word bullying in our conversations a lot well “my husband does,” he uses it in a descriptive way.

Really up until writing this blogs, “I would cringe at the sound of it” then I would speak at hundreds of miles per hour to make sure the person we were speaking to understood that we were not abusing our children …

Bullying is actually what we do to the condition ... we have pushed ... pulled and challenged our children to think … think outside of the box about why they can not deal with the noise levels,

why they cannot touch that chair or table

why can I not have my hair cut 

why they cannot put their socks on without it being the left leg first and never the right

why does everything have to be clean ... by 'bullying' their understanding …

We have taught them to control their own conditions, everyday we hear and see them bullying their Autism. If I actually wrote everything that happened in my day to day life I think I would be called a liar, they reduce me to tears at times and make me laugh so hard my side hurt at others.

So I suppose I should share this evening #bath picture with you ...

Tomorrow is our day of celebration our chance to go Red for Autism … A day for people to think differently ! enjoy

#bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently: My boys ... just thinking about Autism differentl...

#bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently:
My boys ... just thinking about Autism differentl...: My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently I am hoping by the 2nd of April you will have an idea of why I wanted to share our b...

#bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently: Day 5 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism...

#bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently: Day 5 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism...: Day 5 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently I changed my plan for tonight's blog ! I will start by sharin...

Day 5 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently

Day 5 #bath My boys ... just thinking about Autism differently

I changed my plan for tonight's blog !

I will start by sharing, I have had a really bad, autistic day in the house and by writing this piece instead it's helping me put things back into perspective.

Those that know me will tell you I am not one for the limelight, I hate talking on stage and most deffo in front of the camera so this is a mega deal for me to put our life out onto the big wide web, especially in the way I have … it just shows you how passionate I am about Autism and getting the world to think differently about my boys … and their autism, if just one person thinks differently then the time spent will be worth it, I will have gained my art work and hopefully changed someone’s path in life.

So in a way tonight's blog is really one of the most important parts of this #bath project, I am hoping that someone somewhere shares or reads this … I've had a bad day, to much to write about but lets just say that a person or family somewhere has more than likely had exactly the same sort of day or worse. They could be hitting rock bottom right now as I write, wondering where to go and who it is they ask those all important questions.

like …

Do you think my child has something wrong with them ?

Why is he not sleeping ? Why does he not look at me ?

I am his mum and I think my child has autism, will you help me ?

Am I reading to much into it ? Is it me ?

The first question I would answer … will you help me ! At my lowest point it was my husband and sister that had a hand in bringing me back … I listened to people saying how taking your own life is the most inconsiderate thing you can do to someone you love … I hear talk of 'how could they leave their family that way, they must not have cared for their loved ones'.

It's not about care .. love or respect its about being stood on that cliff top looking out to nothing, l call it crossing over to the unhinged side or in my case taking the car for a drive hoping to drive it straight at a tree, not one for drawing up a detailed plan me … I cared more than anyone will ever know, I cared so much that it made me sicker, I'd cared that much it put me in that driving seat.

Whether you are caring for an autistic child or not the most important reason to get up in the morning is you, if you cannot take care of yourself what chance has anyone else got with you on their side … As my mental state got to full blown panic attacks and the fear of hurting my children got to saturation point consuming my every minute, awake or asleep .. I put my hand out not for help but just to brake my silence, thankfully my family were there … I then took the next step and somehow mustered up the strength to put volume into my voice so that I could be heard and in a way I am still doing that volume thing right now.

So what have l learnt from the last twelve years … knowing my stress points and how too best deal with them … I will always have them, there will always be another battle for me ... from seeing some random person watching me and jumping to there conclusion to me jumping to my own conclusion about what they think of me and my beautiful children …my sense of humour helps to get me through, I mean who goes out in the wee small hours of the night wearing nothing but a nightie and had my plan worked, think of the poor ambulance crew .. they would have had a awful fright.

They say a wise person learns from someone else mistakes … my mistakes have been my path, if I had learnt to ask for help I would have been a lot wiser a lot sooner !!

Hope you enjoy tonight’s #bath picture. My boys … just thinking about Autism differently